roaminromans:

(via pastabot)

captainwaltons:

It’s a real shame that running away to sea isn’t considered a career alternative anymore :/

(via dulect)

toesucker:

The catholic church has a secret menu just ask for the body of Christ monkey style and they’ll give you a wafer with peanut butter on it

(via dulect)

alohammora:

punkbonnibel:

I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver

When it bounces perfectly in the corner i experience a Thought

(via dulect)

thotgamer-deactivated20211030:

Ain’t Penis the capital of France ?

(via pastabot)

fluidpuck:

Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.

(via dulect)

pro-gay:

none of this would have happened under the Babadook Presidency

(via thebootydiaries)

contrabasse:

are you kidding, i love classical music. my favorite composers are bach, mozart, and *looks at smudged writing on hand* beef oven

(via dulect)

pukicho:

hungwy:

Randomly watching marvel movies is so confusing. Who is this red man.

Mario

(via welcometomybeautifullife)

unclefather:

What happened to maroon 1-4

(via thebootydiaries)

withlovewithsqualor-deactivated:

When my frontal lobe fully develops at age 27 then it’s over for everyone

(via joshpeck)

neptunain:

honeymoon is an interesting term because an actual moon made of honey would imply space bees which is pretty horrifying

(via thebootydiaries)

gothicprep:

that boy you just called a krusty krab? his name is patrick

(via thebootydiaries)

fireproofs:

one direction in the 1800s be like baby thou light up mine orb like nay oth'r

(via zackisontumblr)

thrussy:

Quarantine? The hoe that made pulp fiction?

(via joshpeck)